I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
