If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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