just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you didnt know i had herpes?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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