One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
try to milk me bitch
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