ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
