So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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