Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
