remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
