I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
