i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
