you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
