She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
