i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
