she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
