my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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