she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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