Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
