roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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