I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize