is your mom at the bar?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize