Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
