She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
