the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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