Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize