Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
