it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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