escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
