If i come over, it means nothing
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I party with great urgency now.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
