No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
