i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
