What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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