Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
