you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize