ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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