Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
