I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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