so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
