God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
