Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize