hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
