I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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