8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
