Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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