Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
