trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
