We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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