There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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