Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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