why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
