He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
