How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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