i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
