We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize