put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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