Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
