There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
