The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I smell like Dick and happiness
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
