help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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