Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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