You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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