I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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