I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
