Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
