you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
