i don't plan on having that self control this summer
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
