Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
