Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
