Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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