please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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