We're like a lot better than the average bears
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize