Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
